Flu Vaccination

My employer has a drive to get everyone flu vaccinated & has rigorous targets to achieve. At the same time they are anxious to point out that the process is purely voluntary & that people are welcome to not have the vaccination if they so choose.

If (like me) you prefer not to however; the iron fist of the organisation descends and you are required to email many people explaining that no...you genuinely do not want the vaccination. The tone of interaction is such that you are made to feel quite bad about this.

I was once again asked to send an email to the team explaining that I wanted to officially 'opt out' of vaccination. By this time I was thoroughly sick of the whole process and felt that setting a target on a voluntary activity was a little silly.
I sent the vaccination team the following:-

Hi team,

My service line lead has asked me to conform that I do not wish to have the flu vaccination.

Whilst I would have thought that my absence as any of the many available flu vaccination days would have been evidence of my intention not to be vaccinated, I am emailing to make my position completely clear in line with her request.

 

I do not currently require or desire a vaccination from flu. My reasons for this are complex and personal and I do not feel that I should need to fully essay them here.

Suffice it to say that, I very rarely sully my Bradford factor by taking days off sick and, it would seem to me the height of irony to take a day or two off in order to recover from a flu shot (as most of my colleagues have) which was designed to prevent such absences in the first place.

I will soldier on with only the highly developed and sophisticated human immune system as a barrier between myself and the forces of influenza.

Should this prove to be a move made in hubris, I will be sure to humbly remove my melted Icarus wings and enrol for next years vaccination however. You should not think that my position in any way degrades the excellent work that your team has been doing in raising the profile of HPFT flu vaccination clinics.

I do hope that this clears up any confusion as to my absence & I wish your team every success in meeting your arbitrarily mandated target without me.

Regards,

 

Ian Gasson

___________________________________________

 

This email apparently caused a flurry of anxiety and 'referring up' in the organisation. This culminated in a meeting with my clinical supervisor who had been approached by senior people wanting to understand my reasons for emailing thus. They were apparently considering sending a 'peer vaccinator' over to speak to me in an effort to win my compliance.

My supervisor had laughed and explained my 'odd sense of humour' to them (in the NHS this counts as 'any sense of humour at all'). Advising them that it would be best not to pursue the matter further.

 

I have since received yet another email this week and so have composed the following Haiku in response:-

 

Vaccination -NO!

My arm will remain un bruised

Low Bradford Factor

 

Also a short poem:-

 

Oh Influenza

Killer of Children

Widows Wail.

Now you are no longer

the harbinger of grief

and yet somehow I am hounded still

by the denizens of your extinction.

 

My supervisor has advised me not to send any more emails.