Monday 25 January 2016

Smell my Cheese

Went to Aldi the other day and saw a guy at the checkout with a bag that was clearly from Lidl (If Aldi was Waitrose, Lidl would be Tesco).
The guy was clearly feeling shamed at having brought an inferior branded bag into the shop and was concerned that the management might take issue with him. His solution was to  turn the bag inside out in deference to his surroundings.

I was in the queue behind him with my appropriately branded 'bags for life' flapping from my hands like the twin break parachutes on a drag racer. Smug in the warm glow of my self satisfaction as I had for once arrived to Aldi PREPARED. I even had one of those 'coin' things that allows you to use the trolley (although mine is a Sainsburys brand and so I try to jam it into the cart quickly so as not to appear overly 'high brow' to other Aldi Patrons).

I went to Waitrose once (I had some vouchers I think) and felt totally out of place among the clientele (who were just doing some light shopping in between fox hunting and renovating listed properties). I made sure to purchase a bag for life there (which used up most of my vouchers) and proudly used it whenever I was in town for some time.

Stuffing Aldi brand nappies into my Waitrose canvas bag gives me a  perverse thrill only equaled by the rush of completing a perfect parallel park or taking free samples at Sainsburies with no real plans to purchase the product at a later date.

I suppose that it might me possible to grade everyone on earth to their respective socio economic groupings based purely on what supermarket brand they have on their 'bag for life' and how strong the cheddar cheese is in their fridge.
Mine is extra mature... 'In Your FACE mild cheddar bitches!'