Prats With Scooters

I was in my car on the way to the office the other morning when I espied a  be-suited chap in his late twenties (or early thirties) whizzing along the crowded pavement opposite on what appeared to be a scooter.

Not a moped you understand but an adult sized ‘child’s push along scooter’ which apparently had been adapted so that it ran on some electric or kinetic motor. This total prat was zooming past everyone else with a look of blissful indifference on his smug face.

‘I am better than all of you,’ it seemed to say ‘I look so cool on this expensive toy that the normal expectations of considerate behaviour on a crowded street do not apply to me’.

Needless to say this display of arrogant hipster rudeness filled me with a seething maelstrom of petty rage. I will admit that part of it was likely my own envy that he was clearly having a lot more fun than me but it was more the smug disregard for other walkers that really raised my blood pressure.

I have a five year old daughter who enjoys zooming along on her scooter. ‘Can I bring my scooter’ she will often ask as we are heading out somewhere. Often my reply is ‘no sweetheart, it will be too busy in town and you might upset people or crash into them’.

My five year old daughter appears to understand the wisdom of this. Although not happy with the situation, she can grasp the concept that it is preferable to curtail personal freedom in order to preserve the delicate balance of politeness and respect that are the bedrock upon which modern society is predicated (this is what she said to me word for word).

This prat zooming along the pavement in flagrant disregard for the safety and comfort of all around him is apparently incapable of grasping the same concept however.

I am not against the use of ludicrously overpriced hipster toys. I am not against using them for your morning commute. But they go incredibly fast and are more or less completely silent. The place for them is either on the road or (failing that) in a cycle lane. Not on the pavement. I understand that you want to use your new toy as much as possible in order to feel better about blowing all that money on what is clearly a child’s plaything. But this is the pavement. It is for walking (or at the most running). If it is a busy morning and everyone is going to school or work then you need to get off of your toy and wait until later when you can use it safely on less crowded streets. Failing that, take it to a park where you can whiz around to your hearts content.

Anyway, I need to find out where I can purchase one of these things so if you have any ideas then please let me know.